幽默小读者杂志停刊

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我是五叶神

已采纳

请采纳我的问题　1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指，但竟没有一个同学注意到，令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐着谈天的时候，她突然站起来大声说：“哎呀，这里真热呀，我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧。”　　　　2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她：“你是否怀孕了？”　　　　“是啊！”女佣回道。　　　　“亏你还说得出口，你还没有结婚，难道不觉得害羞吗？”女主人再次训。　　　　“我为什么要害羞，女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗？”　　　　“可是我怀的是我丈夫的！”女主人生气地反驳。　　　　“我也是啊！”女佣高兴地附和。　　　　3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服，就是把口子在后面扣上，可以挡风。一天他酒后驾驶，翻了，一头栽在路旁。警察赶到：　　　　警察甲：好严重的车祸。　　　　警察乙：是啊，脑袋都撞到后面去了。　　　　警察甲：嗯，还有呼吸，我们帮他把头转回来吧。　　　　警察乙：好一、二使劲，转回来了。　　　　警察甲：嗯，没有呼吸了　　　　4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上，因为时常发生车祸，所以常常有一些鬼故事发生，有一天晚上，有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩，身着白衣的女人向他招手，因为这个司机没有见过鬼，所以大胆的停下来让她上车了，这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼，心里也毛毛的，所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人，开着开着，突然司机发现那个女人不见了！司机吓了一大跳，赶紧踩了一个刹车！只见那个女人满脸是血，表情狰狞。司机吓的牙直打颤。突然那女人开口了：“你会不会开车啊！我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……”　　　　5、一个病人去看病，医生检查了他，皱着眉头说：“您病得太严重了，恐怕不会活多久了。” 病人：“求您告诉我我还能活多久？” 医生：“十……” 病人着急地问：“十什么？十年？？十个月？？？十天？？？？？” 医生：“十，九，八，七，六，五……”　　　　6、老师：“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗？”　　　　学生：“能，他们都死了。”　　　　7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱，蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的，蚊子说：“护士，打针的。”蜣一拍大腿：“缘分呐，我是中药局搓药丸的…”　　　　8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆。夜半，起火，不明原因。非洲人见状顾不了那么许多，光着身子就跑出去了。消防员见状惊呼：“我的妈呀！都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快！”　　　　9、一个人想出国考察，但必须得到老总批准。于是他向老总请示，老总给了他一张字条，上面写着：“Go ahead”。那人想：“Go ahead=前进，老总是批准了。”于是他开始打点行李。一个同事见到了他问：“你在做什啊？？”他说：“我准备出国考察，老总批准了，给我写了‘Go ahead’。” 同事一见条就乐了：“咱们老总根本就没批准！！咱老总的英语水平你还不知道，他这是在说去个头！”　　　　10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说：“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言，叫"感谢上帝"它就跑;叫"赞美上帝"它才停下。”农夫将信将疑，他试着喊了一声感谢上帝，那匹马立刻飞奔起来，越跑越快。一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”。果然，马停下来了。死里逃生的农夫长出一口气：“感谢上帝………”我打了很久，请采纳1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your \" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted \"Me too!\" The maid happy to 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the Police: police a: a good serious car Policeman b: yes, his head hit the Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head Po2: One, two, turn Policeman a: well, not 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim The driver frighten of teeth Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my \" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much \" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, \" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all \" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an \" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub \" 8, the africans live in a In the midnight, a fire, unknown Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\" The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is \" So he started to A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't \" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\" Sure enough, the horse Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank \"I played for a long time, please

340 评论 2小时前发布

小木每木每

《幽默大师》杂志是中国漫画类期刊著名品牌，获第二届“国家期刊奖”，是全国百种重点期刊，集中外各路幽默于一身，汇世界漫画精品于一体。《小贝蒂》是王晓明自1985年在《幽默大师》杂志上连载迄今已二十多年，是该刊唯一不间断、连载时间最长的栏目，影响了数代人，成为该刊最受欢迎、读者来信最多的作品。小贝蒂的独特造型深受读者喜爱，小贝蒂的故事打动了各年龄段读者的心，尤其成为小读着心中的偶像。王晓明，浙江宁波人，现供职于浙江教育学院。他是文画兼长的艺术家，以全部的热情和才智为儿童写作和绘画。文学创作首获中国作协儿童文学奖，绘画作品首获联合国科教文亚太中心野间奖；美术电影设计曾获中国电视金鹰奖和电影金鸡奖、童牛奖等。

253 评论 8小时前发布

度兰度兰

早上我和老婆吵了一架，她赌气不理我。快到中午12点，我饿得不行，见老婆还不做饭，就写了张纸条“我饿了”，让狗狗叼去给老婆看。等了一会儿不见动静，我悄悄去客厅一瞧，见老婆边吃火腿肠边喂狗狗，念叨着：“我知道你饿了，多吃点儿。”

106 评论 10小时前发布

子非鱼1102

《花衣裳》里面的故事都好好看的，我相信你可以投稿的，是湖北长江出版集团，湖北少年儿童出版社的你查查看，

194 评论 10小时前发布

幽默小读者杂志停刊

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